Boston U.
In the Fall of 2014, a not entirely sure of himself 19 year old kid was moving into the Boston University Freshman dorms, Claflin hall to be specific.
The dorm overlooked Historic Nickerson field, A place he’d call home— a place he would make some of his best friends and greatest memories. He learned about the game of life on that field, by playing the Medicine Game: Lacrosse.
That kid now a bit older, but still not all that sure of himself— graduated in the Spring of 2018 with a Bachelors of Arts and a dream to do great things. It turned out that the key to some of that greatness was returning to the place that helped him become who he was.
In the fall of 2025, I had the opportunity to return to BU— the road back was a tumultuous one. It was rife with pain, joy, sadness, love, depression, and quite a bit of semi-ordered chaos. In short: Life.
If you haven’t picked up on it, this is a story about Me: Tommy.
After college I spent some time coaching, knowing that when I was ready I would be joining the military, it wasn’t a matter of if, but when. This was a dream I had held since I was very young, and there’s a host of old GI Joe halloween costumes to prove it. After two seasons coaching for Acacia Walker, Jen Kent (Two of the greatest leaders of all time), and the BC Women’s Lacrosse team, I ticked every physical box I had set out as a requirement and walked into a Navy recruiting office.
I had joined the military later than most, 25 with the goal of joining the elite ranks of Naval Special Warfare. I spent years of my life training just to have the right to attend the selection pipeline that I viewed as the key to finally having a semblance of self worth— something that despite many on paper successes had always eluded me.
The weight I put on that potential existence came back to bite me. After losing one of my closest friends (RIP Kyle Mullen) in the training pipeline I had so idealized, I went down a pretty dark road. I dove deeper into this darkness after I was dropped from the program entirely. I had lost one of the closest and most understanding friends I had made in life, along with a dream that predated many of my earliest memories. In short order I was a wreck with nothing to grasp onto.
As the saying goes: “So there I was”- except my war story is of the mind. So there I was… walking the sandy shores of Ocean Beach, San Diego when an opportunity presented itself. One to try magic mushrooms. I had never in my life consumed a psychedelic, and the idea was scary to me. I did not know much about them other than people in my circle had used them to great effect, and I had heard their efficacy in treating PTSD. Between that knowledge, my general impulsivity, and a feeling deep in my soul that I cannot quite explain- I tried psychedelics for the first time.
This didn’t “fix” me. I didn’t magically become the best version of myself. Like I said, I knew nothing about psychedelics beyond what I had heard from friends and podcasts. I didn’t prepare for, or integrate the experience after (Two massively important aspects of Truxtun programming)- but what I did do is break the rumination cycle in my mind and save my life.
I was able to grieve for my friend, and I no longer felt all the blame fell on me. It kept me alive, kept me moving, made me feel something again. It wasn’t until years later- when I joined Truxtun that I was able to take so much more from that experience, and integrate all my subsequent psychedelic journeys. Speaking with, and learning from the facilitators within Truxtun is how I was truly able to shed the baggage I had been carrying. It’s one of the fundamental reasons I am so passionate about what we are doing.
When I joined Truxtun, I wanted to help solve the epidemic that is veteran loss of identity, suicidality, PTSD, and a host of other mental health challenges veterans like me were facing. At the time, there was talk of leveraging our networks to help push the mission, but we didn’t exactly know how to make an institutional partner out of the gate.
Slowly but surely dots started connecting, and through some incredible humans willing to hear our stories about the powers of these plant medicines, we got into a room with researchers at my old stomping ground- Boston University.
A few months back we announced our research partnership with Boston U. Something we had been working on for months, not just on getting approval, but actual design of the study. During these conversations, the BU researchers came up with an incredible idea- involve the student body.
How?
“Well how about we have a class in the spring focused on qualitative research- also how about that research is focused on Truxtun programming and outcomes.”
“Uhmmmm YES”
This is how I remember the conversation at least.
This led to what would become one of the more impactful moments of my life. At age 30 I was able to speak to a group of undergraduates who were flabbergasted that they could take a class on legitimate psychedelic research. A few months later at the end of the semester, CJ and I attended the classes final projects.
The projects were incredible. Each student group received a de-identified interview that had been conducted by the BU research team. They took these interviews, and compounded with an extensive literature review conducted leading up to it built out legitimate hypotheses on Truxtun programming.
One team even gave us a slogan that was more than awesome- I was told I can’t write it here, but I am going to- “Let’s Fucking Grow”
For budding mycologists, and folks interested in bettering themselves this is a slogan that carries weight. With me it’s much more than that.
Three words, told to me with the utmost joy… it was powerful. These humans who are so much further along in their paths than I ever was even close to at that age are seeing what we are doing, and are able to not just study it diligently, but have fun with it.
Is that not one of the most pure moments you can experience in life? Joy in learning? Furthering research that helps people? Being part of a project that is quite literally changing lives?
Through all of the presentations I imagined these students meeting the 26 year old version of me who would have killed himself if it were not for psilocybin. I imagined them meeting him, and telling him about this medicine, telling him about Truxtun, getting him to a retreat. Saving his life.
I wonder about the ones who didn’t make it. The ones who won’t ever get to see what we are doing. I am filled with so much love knowing that there is a generation of humans far smarter than I making sure these numbers STOP rising, so we can begin to truly heal.
So I am with the BU students: Let’s Fuckin’ Grow.
None of any of this would be possible without Kelly Pessanelli, Dr. Shannon Peters, and Dr. Shelley Brown- whom I will forever be indebted to.
Be on the lookout this summer/early fall as we move closer to releasing the results of the studies!